There have been a few "One Year" anniversaries since I have blogged. There was the one year anniversary of Grandpa's death back in June. I started writing a blog entry about that, but never finished it... But most recently was the one year since being diagnosed with depression.
With it being a year down this road, it has made me evaluate where I was and where I am now. I have made A LOT of progress, but I still don't feel like I am where I need to be. I am still on meds and still have days when I struggle. Still, for the most part I can function.
Dan was here for 7 weeks this summer and it was wonderful. On the flip side, though... When he had to go back to California I was a complete wreck. Initially I told myself that when he left I was going to get a ton of stuff done (like housework and errands), but when he left all I could do was lay in bed and cry. (I was able to go to work, but cried there too). I should have been productive that Saturday but all I did was stay in bed. That first weekend he was gone all I did was sleep (15 hours Fri night, stayed in bed from 1pm-6pm, slept 6-8, then back to sleep for 8 hours, worked, took a 3 hour nap at my parents). It got to the point where I was feeling a lot like I did last summer when I was diagnosed and it really started to bother me. As time went on and we re-established our routine things got better. I'm trying to get back into being active and social.
Before he left I got us both Fitbooks and we made a deal to use our time apart to really work on health and fitness. A few weeks back, I went to the gym to kick things off, but wanted to get my measurements done so I could track my progress through the next 12 weeks.
Oh 24 Hour Fitness.... You always know a sucker when you see one. The guy who was doing my measurements turned out to be the Fitness manager. He and I started discussing my goals, the road I have been on and he got all excited and said we had a lot of things in common and he wanted to give me a FREE personal training session.
Now, this is not my first rodeo. I know how these things work. When I first joined the gym they had this GREAT offer where you get 3 personal training sessions for $99. If you want to continue with it, they take that price off the package you purchase. If you don't like it, you get your money back. So I got it... and that's how I started working with Megan... who I trained with for 8 months and became little miss fitness... Remember her???
So we scheduled my training session. I was super excited. But as the time came, I got more and more nervous. The session was this past Saturday and let me tell you... I had every right to be nervous.
HE. KICKED. MY. BUTT.
This is what we did:
First he taught me how to do kettlebell swings.
Then we did:
8 Kettlebell Squats
10 Pull Ups on the TRX (I'm not sure what thats actually called)
15 Kettlebell Swings
3 sets of that
Then we did
Sled (drag it down to the water fountain walking backwards, then on the way back pulling it behind me)
BattleRopes for 30 seconds
Plank for 1 minute
3 Sets of that
I haven't sweat that much in a long time. That's more work than I've done definitely in the last year... Maybe longer. It was TOUGH and afterwards I kinda felt like puking.
He walked me over to the computer to show me the personal training packages available. And I knew he would do this going into it. And the thing is that it's just SO EXPENSIVE. And yea, the more you pick the cheaper they are per session... but it's still so much money. So I ended up picking the smallest package they had (5 sessions) and he threw in another free one too. He set me up with a trainer named Sara.
Tonight was my first "session" with her. It was more of a consultation where we talked about my history, my goals, did measurements and set up a plan for me. It was good for me. I really want to get back to where I was pre-depression. I think after a year I am finally ready to do it.
The rest of my week looks like this:
Tuesday: Steady State Cardio 30 minutes at home (perhaps going for a walk or something like that)
Wednesday: Resistance Workout, Cardio Optional (since Hip Hop isn't happening again this week)
Thursday: Steady State Cardio 30 minutes at home
Friday: Training Session
Saturday: Steady State Cardio 30 minutes at home
This week we are mostly easing into it. Just setting up those habits...
She also gave me a whole list of homework.
*Be more active Tuesday and Thursday
*Wednesday get in the gym and HAVE FUN!!!!
*Practice new food routine, hit calorie goals, let macros fall where they may
*Track food at minimum 3 days
*Every day do a "I'm thankful for my body" thought. (Can be something as simple as "I'm thankful I can get out of bed" or something like "I'm thankful I can run")
*Journal (track workouts, write thoughts on what you did, thoughts on life)
I am DETERMINED to get back to where I was. After Saturday I know I have a really long road ahead of me. I was very frustrated that I let myself get to this point... But I suppose we all have hills we have to climb. I guess I am just going to have to climb this one again. But I guess if I have done it once before, I can do it again.